Good Morning All!
The article below is something I think a lot of women and men
can take from. In this day and age, it’s difficult to not consider
physical features and physical attraction itself.
Just remember not to get caught up in the superficial aspects
and try and really dig deep to reach someone’s soul.
That’s when you know you have really found what you are looking for.
Xoxo, Dani Girl
Written by: Sheleana Aiyana
When I was younger a part of me secretly enjoyed being objectified by men.
I wanted to be beautiful in the eyes of my lovers. I’d by lying if I didn’t reveal that as a young-woman, a fractured part of me felt that my external physicality was a pre-requisite to attracting and keeping love.
I’m not different, there’s lots of women out there who still carry this belief around with them. Who spend so much of their time and money on their looks thinking it really matters.
But then one day I met my forever partner. A gorgeous man with ocean blue eyes and piercing lips. I would trace my finger tips along the curves of his chest that invited soft kisses and find myself carried away into another realm by the sound of his voice.
He was (and is) the most visually stunning and cosmically alluring man I have ever laid eyes on.
Only he was different. When we started dating, he didn’t compliment me on my external beauty all that much. There was no external feedback loop to reinforce this belief of being “good enough” for the way I looked on any given day. I’d change my look, dress up or dress down and he’d rarely bat an eye.
So one night while we lay in bed I questioned him. Why didn’t he comment on my body more, why didn’t he notice when I gained or lost weight? Wasn’t he paying attention?
He said, “I don’t notice if you changed your hair or if you’ve gained or lost 10 pounds because I’m in love with you, not your body. I’m in love with your soul.
I love the way you laugh, I love the person you are and that you take a stand for women’s healing, I love that you’re passionate about birth and the feminine and that you stand up for what you believe in.
I love that you have a potty mouth and that you speak your truth. I love that you’re adventurous and you have been through hell and back and keep going.
I don’t care how much you weigh or whether or not you combed your hair today. One day we’ll both be old and saggy and I’ll still be looking into those sparkly eyes, but neither of us will be all that physically attractive when we’re 83.
I’m not banking on having a woman who’s eternally youthful or defies the laws of aging. I’m not deluded into thinking these bodies will stay the same forever. That’s why so many men end up divorced at middle-age. They went into it with the wrong mindset, thinking that bodies matter more than they do.
Both of us are going change and degrade and one day we’ll look at each other and laugh at how much we’ve changed over the years. I’m not in love with another body, I’m in love with another soul.”
I breathed a sigh of relief.
We all deserve a love like this.
Photograph by: Heather Pennell, The Essence Oracle